The Filesharing Crisis Flow-Chart

I am so sick of this shit I've been reading about all these lawsuits against torrent sites like ^----

(here's what I was reading: http://torrentfreak.com/the-pirate-bay-taken-offline-by-swedish-authorities-090824/ this is the shirt the kids who made it sent the companies that tried to stop them!!)

Here's the way I see it, and I don't think I'm wrong:

You're telling me that downloading songs or whatever off of the internet is illegal because someone did not pay for that digital content. You're mad because companies like Disney are only making millions instead of billions. I get that.

But I don't think you've really thought this lawsuit through, guys. From what I've been reading, your argument in court is that by downloading a song illegally from the internet, you have access to content that you didn't pay for - which means you aren't likely to buy the song legally since you already have it. (Wow, no brainer there.) So it's an issue of the prevention of purchase.

But why stop at torrents? By that logic, all my VCR tapes from the 90's are illegal. Stuff I taped off of TV? Mixed tapes I made friends? burned CDs that old boyfriends gave me? By your logic, if my best friend gives me a mix for my birthday, I have to pay for each song, even if she paid for them? If a movie gets a bad review, and that's the reason I don't go see it, is the reviewer responsible? Financially? I think not.

Granted, most of these examples are sort of out of date, but how is more modern DVR recording any different? If I tivo The Office this season, and I have it on my tivo box saved, I'm not gonna buy the DVDs any time soon, am I? No. But that's legal.

Unless I LOVE something, I'm NOT GOING TO BUY IT ANYWAY because I can watch most stuff on HBO or hulu or netflix, LEGALLY. So why is my Tivo box different from torrents? Why? Because you can ADVERTISE on Tivo. That's what it comes down to. Companies don't want to take down Tivo because it's also a revenue source for them through ads.

I say end this madness. If you keep filing these stupid lawsuits, like the RIAA kept doing, not only do you look like an asshole for fining some poor college kid $70,000 for downloading one album (I get it, you were trying to make an example out of him, but you just looked like bastards) but you also open up bad avenues if you win.

If you win, and torrents get stopped, two things will happen:

1. Someone with a law degree will notice that there's no difference between internet downloads and DVR, and it will snowball from there. Soon you'll have to give this up, or everything will be illegal that isn't a direct purchase from a retailer. THEN every company will suffer because no one that doesn't own a company has any money right now. WE ARE POOR, DISNEY. POOR. I'm sorry your stock dropped or whatever it is you're bitching about, but I just can't afford to buy a copy of your Miley Montana movie or whatshername. But I know that about a bahzillion kids did. It's not like you didn't make any money. Maybe if actors didn't get paid millions of dollars you could save some dough.

2. Smart people will just find another way to get shit for free.

Either way, you're wasting billions of dollars and huge amounts of time on a LOSING battle. People will always find a way to get around whatever rules you put in place, so why not ADAPT to the times, like Hulu did? Why not make more of your content available for free in a setting where you can also advertise new content? Why not use the power of the internet instead of fighting it? Your business models need to change. Because you can't turn off the internet altogether, and people will always share content. And the more you keep this up, the more you seem like stiff old Douchebags while you make stuff like hulu seem modern and cool.

I mean, you want to dig the hole for yourself? Go ahead. I left a shovel outside for you.

-Flap

Riddle me This.

So I've noticed the last few days that my eyes have been absolutely red and bloodshot. I joke about it a lot, but I really don't smoke the chronic. Not my thing. So I'm wondering:

WTF is up with my eyes? Are they like rebelling against me for NOT smoking herb? Am I turning into a vampire or something from watching too much TrueBlood? What is happening to me? Am I dying? Am I overdramatic? Why, yes.

So here's a list of possible scenarios:

1. I'm secretly Le Chiffre from Casino Royale.

2. I have a weird version of that disease where you sleep eat, except I sleep smoke?

3. Someone played a pretty weird joke on me involving food coloring

4. My corneas are above an old Indian burial ground

5. I forgot that I put in color contacts but they disintegrated or something

Other theories welcome.

FlapperOut

-TheFlapper

I'd like to privately apologize.

So I know some of you were wondering - is she being ironic with that post? Is she playing a joke on us?

No. The answer is that I was COMPLETELY hammered, and listened to this song literally 53 times. You how sometimes you have a go-to munchie food when you're *NOT* high? Well apparently Glee is my drunk fancy.

Glee is awesome. You should watch it, for realz. But I think you can spare yourself the crazy enthusiasm I employed this morning.

My B.

-Flapper

I saw Glee and I AM HOOKED

seriously, for realz

It's so rare that EVERY TIME YOU LISTEN TO A SONG IT GETS BETTER

I'm an Entrepreneur! er, yeah?

Today, I thought of the next big thing:

Sexual Harassment Insurance.

That's right, I said it. You read right. I think this would free up a lot of time. You wouldn't have to bother having lawyers come up with sexual harassment policies for the workplace, you wouldn't have to have those dumb seminars,

I hope you watched the video. I can never eat cheesecake again. Also do they realize they need some more punctuation? Stop Sexual Harassment Training For Employees makes me think they're an organization against employees being trained. Shouldn't it be something like Stop Sexual Harassment: Training ? I mean come on.

you could grab people's asses with no fear of consequence. I think everyone at your place of business could be a lot happier, freer, more like Real Topeka People, man, knowing that they have coverage should anyone find their comments or mannerisms totally effing inappropriate.

Think about it.

You could finally stop pretending you AREN'T staring at the hot chick a cubicle over's boobs. You could bring in your ice tray that makes penis shaped cubes. You could cat call in the hallways.

Basically, you could be back in college.

One time offer! For the low, low fee of ($amount to be determined later) YOU can be protected!

FlapperOut

-ThaFlapper

If I needed a room-mate.

Today I was walking to the ice cream store (yeah. stfu.) and I was struck by an ad for a roommate. It had the usual accoutrements, requesting that applicants be female, employed petless nonsmokers. But it got me thinking how I would advertise if I needed a roomie. I think, something like this:

ROOMMATE WANTED (well, financially viable):

SWF early 20s seeking person to split rent and bills with. Right off the bat: I call big room. I call first shower-sies. That's non-NEGO-MY-EGO. Qualities that would be super awesome but won't break the bank if unattainable:

-Preferably a smoker. So you don't mind me doing it.

-Anorexia a plus, as you would be less likely to eat my food

-jobless, so you keep the house tidy while i'm at work!

-male, so i don't hate you

-ethnic. I like a little flavor. I'm very pale.

-semi-alcoholic. Same reason as smoking.

-training in either kung fu or statesmanship, as my PR rep has inexplicably up and quit as well as my bodyguard.

-petless. Can you imagine me with anything but fish?

-minimum IQ of 135. Or maximum IQ of 105. No in-betweensies. This is non-NEGO as well. I like to either verbally spar with you, or be entertained by your idiocy as I smile and clench my teeth to attempt not to laugh so hard I cry.

Looking forward to meeting you!

Yeah, I'll hold my breath on how many applications I would get for that. Oddly enough, I WOULD want to live with a person that honest about their quirks- er, I mean let's be honest, flaws.

This is why I live alone. hehe.

FlapperOut

-ThaFlapper

FLAPPER FINDS EMPLOYMENT!!

Today, a day of days, Flapper got a job!!

Alas, I am still of the table-waiting persuasion - but now I'm not at TheBar, Dive of all Dives, but rather at a small Indian/Nepalese/Tibetan restaurant with a really cool staff and AMAZING food.

I might actually ENJOY working!

Is it weird that I'm so happy? I'm ec-frackin-static. I have no bitchy sarcastic remarks to make at the moment - I'm just elated to find employment, and moreover, a great job! Maybe I can pay back VISA now!!!! YESSSSSSSSS

I'm exhausted. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back with something Worthless. No promises, though. I might ride out this happy wave.

FlapperOut

-ThaFlapper

QUICKSAND SEXINESS

So last night TooBritToQuit and I were watching the NeverEnding Story because we're very secure with our inner children. We like to feed them morsels of Nostalgia frequently, and reap the benefits of brushing up on Childhood Morality Tales, such as, when bullies chase you, hide in dumpsters. Until they're really really gone.

Then we came to the scene where Atreyu loses Artax to the Sadness in the Quicksand. Now, I haven't seen that in years. If you've never seen it, here it is:

Rewatching this as a semi-Adult, I was immediately struck with an undertone of intense animal love. Like, the kind PETA doesn't approve of. I'm thinking, "man, the boy LOVES his horse. Like, lovesssss. Too much."

Putting that aside for a moment, because bestiality freaks me out to be honest, I'd like to focus on a novel concept that occurred to me: Quicksand Sex.

Quicksand Sex would be rediculous. Mostly because if you're in quicksand, you aren't supposed to struggle or you sink faster. Now imagine you're trying to bone!?!? You'd basically be able to gauge how good it was by how fast you sunk. I'm thinking this could be the next national pastime! Who can screw their way to the bottom! Sure, safety regulations would have to be put in place, an oxygen tank would be required, and there's a huge margin of error.

But Jesus, even you had a mishap...

Wouldn't that be literally going out with a bang?

Awesome. My only issue is that you couldn't have a smoke after, really. Love that post-coital.

I'm going to go work on some regulations and uniforms.

Stay Classy.

FlapperOut

-ThaFlapper

Social ANGSTiexties: Dreams Really Do Come True! Almost.

Last night I had the extreme MisFortune to be out at a bar by myself surrounded with Prepps. I'm not really picky, I don't mind just sitting there alone. It doesn't make me fidget, and check my phone every three seconds to make sure I don't seem like a loser as SOME (by SOME I mean all) of the people in Hipsteria seem wont to do. I don't mind being alone. Most times, the company of myself is preferable to Company in general.

But then, there's that whole thing about me getting along really well with Dudes. So of course by the end of the night I've made friends with some people, because I'm scathing and sarcastic, and drunk people apparently find that funnier than sober people, who seem to hate it. Especially once they figure out I'm making fun of them, not laughing with them.

Anyway, so my two new buddies and I headed inside to finish our drinks at last call. The guys found some LAIDeez they'd been trying to f- I mean, trying to "date" earlier in the night, and invited them back over to their place (for legal reasons:) ***NOT*** to smoke some pot. Their potential victi- I mean, potential visitors' eyes brightened, clearly (for legal reasons:) ***NOT***excited by this offer. But then, the wild females exchanged a pre-arranged "this is the signal for 'we don't really know these guys, we haven't had enough to drink to screw them, so we should just try to extricate ourselves" glance and made polite excuses to take "a raincheck."

I found the whole thing fascinating! It was like watching a duo of wild jackals attempting to mate with two ostriches as their heads preferably remained buried, Nature's PotLuck DinnerDates going to a romantic dumpster for four.

But what I found even more fascinating: normally, during this kind of thing, whatever GuyFriend I'm with sort of expects me to excuse myself once my WingWomanShip is over, you know, after I assure the Ostriches that the Jackal is a totally UpStanding Guy, then I StopDropAndBail to let them take care of business. But last night, my friends actually paused, turned, and said, "Flap, obviously you're coming, too."

I was blown away. I'm actually sorry the LAIDeez said no, because I'm so curious to see what it would have been like to watch that play out. Something like the WildTourist coming upon the Ostrich/Jackal SexFest while on Safari and not knowing whether to stay and take pictures, or hop back in the golf cart and switch to the Magic Kingdom from the WildKingdom during their stay in Orlando.

Life, ah. Life.

FlapperOut

-ThaFlapper

so..errr...yeah.

Chris Pine? You're adorable.

That's all :)

Flapper Out

-ThaFlapper